From giddy to freaked out to mad to desperate to rational to amused to scared to irrational to unsure to fine to ...

Yeah, I wish I could say that I'm not an emotional runaway train.

However, at this point in time, because the girl forces me to think about it..

I am afraid...I've always been afraid of a lot of things. This doesn't change about me.

Sometimes, I'm not as scared, and I forget that I have any fear.

Other times, this fear seriously hinders my growth, as a person, as a child of God, as a friend.. whatever.

but right now, that's okay, that I'm afriad.

It's okay for me to be afraid of losing her or him. It's okay for me to be afraid of losing them.

It's okay for me to be hurt.

It's not the end of the world.. and just like every time I experience one emotion, it will be followed by another, and another, and another.. and I'll be okay again.

I'm not worried about being afraid right now.

As long as it doesn't keep me from moving forward, then it's okay.

P.S.Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird (.955)

WEEK OF MAY 28, 2006 LEAD STORY

The National Health Service office in Dundee, Scotland, has recommended toilet techniques for the estimated one-third of the population that suffers from bowel and bladder dysfunction, according to an April report in The Times of London. The pamphlet, "Good Defecation Dynamics," lists preferred breathing habits and describes the proper, upright, seated posture for effective elimination ("Keep your mouth open as you bulge and widen"), and encourages support for the feet, perhaps "a small footstool." [The Times (London), 4-29-06]

P.S.s. Not to say she's my sole inspiration for writing, because she isn't.. however, the girl is a primary reason.

And this I did not realize before.