Alternate entry title: Discordia's feelings outside of work

Roommate searching around on her bed during movie: "Hm.. where's my candy bar?"

Me with little bit of a guilty look and realization dawning: "Oh.. Wasn't that for me?"

Roommate a little confused: "Well, maybe half of it."

Me feeling even more guilty: "Um, I'm sorry... I ate it all."

Roommate a little while later after we're semisorta done laughing: "It's like animals at the zoo... if you don't want them to eat the food, keep it out of reach." (she had previously found the candy in her purse, tossed it in my direction... and I just assumed it was for me).

Now, this may not strike you as funny. So perhaps you had to be there.. but I can't stop laughing.

It was awesome. A good way to end the night, coming to terms with my pigish chocolate addiction and spending time the girl.

However, I have not quite finished getting eariler today out of my system. Hence, the alternate entry title.

At work, I am unable to fully express myself because, at work, how I feel means jack shxt. My feelings on matters are nonexistent. The customer is my god, and I must do everything to please them, with very little exception.

With this philosophy hanging over my head, I am often to be found groveling and apologizing to the customer, no matter how stupid, untruthful, unreasonable, or rude the customer is... because that's my job. I have to make the customer happy.

Most of the time, I don't have a single problem with this. Every day I get to give hundreds of dollar of someone else's money away making customers happy using the ole "trust and adjust" or "credit and forget" (i.e. even if you know there's no possible way the customer could be telling the truth, you give them the money anyway, educate them thoroughly, and leave detailed memos on the account so they can't make the same bogus claim again OR with the second variation, you do all the first and then forget it because it's not your money and no matter how it rubs you the wrong way, you have to do what you're told, and if that means giving the customer money when they don't deserve.. that's what you're getting paid to do).

Like I said, most of the time, I don't mind the job. However, the groveling bit sometimes gets to me.. the constant "I'm sorry Mr./Ms. Customer. I understand your frustration. I apologize for the inconvience to you. I am sorry you dropped your phone in the water. I sorry your phone doesn't work. I'm sorry that you bought a stolen phone off of someone, however I am unable to activate it for you. I'm sorry you have overages. I'm sorry you're dissatisfied with the service. I'm sorry we can't guarantee coverage in all areas. I'm sorry you couldn't pay your bill on time. I'm sorry you think it's our fault your account got shut off due to non-payment. I'm sorry you weren't informed that when you don't pay your cell phone bill, then your service gets cut off. You're right Mr./Ms. Customer. I really do apologize for that..." Get my drift? It gets on my nerves sometimes... especially when they say such stupid things as "Now, tell me, if I didn't make those calls, why should I pay for them" (because it's your freakin' phone.. We are not here to babysit your phone for you). Or "Well, I wasn't told that my service would be interupted if I didn't pay my bill. So what are you going to credit me for the inconvience?" (No, sir, you don't understand... having a cell phone is a fxckxng PRIVILEGE.. NOT A RIGHT.. So I am not going to credit you. Just PAY YOUR DxMN BILL).

ARGGGGGGG!!!!!

Today, thankfully, I didn't have to deal with any of those scenrios specifically.

Nope.

Today I am a horrible, terrible, lying, snide comment making representative, and I am single handedly responsible for the way Sprint Nextel does their business.

Dxmn, I'm good.

Scenerio: Woman calls in...

Me: Thank you for calling Sprint, together with Nextel. My name is Discordia. May I get your first and last name please?

Woman: "My name is [whatever her name is]"

Me: "Thank you, and may I also have the mobile number you're calling in about?"

Woman: "My number is [whatever her number is]"

Me: "Thank you Ms. Customer. It'll be just a moment while I bring up your account."

Woman: "Um, okay, can I tell you what's going on while you're bring up the account to save time?" Translation: "Can't I just launch right into being a bxtch now? I don't have any time to waste being nice."

Me: "Sure, go ahead."

Woman: (proceeds to complain about the fact that calling her voicemail from her mobile uses her minutes and how nextel has horrible customer service and she is so dissatisfied)

Side Note: Now, other than the fact that she's already blaming me for bad service when I haven't even had a chance to talk, I find her concern valid. I think it's stupid to charge minutes when you're calling your own voicemail. My own cellphone company, T-Mobile/Voice Stream, does not charge me minutes for calling my voicemail, and neither to most of the others, that I know of. So, I was genuinely in agreement with the customer, although I'm not technically allowed to say that while on the phone. I just want to make a point that...my sympathy was REAL.

Me: "I do understand your frustration with that Ms. Customer. However, we do actually provide a way around that. If if you would like to call your voicemail without using cellular minutes, you can call from a landline. All you need to do is dial your mobile number, let it forward to voicemail, and during the greeting, press the * key and then enter your passcode."

Woman, aka bxtch: "Excuse me.. so you're saying I have to waste more of my time because you don't have good business practices? Let me tell you.. I got a cell phone for convenience and now you're telling me...(sorry, I didn't get all of it, when they get bitchy, I tend to tune them out until they're finished).

Me: (I pause.. I like to let the customers words linger in the air a moment while I contemplate the best response) "Ma'am, I am sorry. However, here in care, we can't do anything to change that. If you would like the corporate headquater's information, then you can certainly lodge a complaint."

Bxtch: (More complaining about how I'm wasting her time, and how I should be typing every single word she says, and how I should pass her complaint on myself, and "WHY AREN'T YOU TYPING! I DON'T HEAR ANY TYPING" and how she would like to leave Sprint Nextel, but she can't afford the early termination fee of $200.00 at this time and how she's going to tell everyone how horrible and terrible we are as a company and how bad our customer service is and how it's stupid and a bad business practice to charge minutes for calling the voicemail and how we're just trying to cheat customers out of their money...and so on)

Another Side Note: Please.. can anyone tell me, how I am wasting her time... when SHE is the one calling in?

Me getting annoyed, but still quite calm: (For a moment, I again say nothing, flabbergasted at the another prime example of lazy assed americanism..."Ms. Customer, I'm sorry you feel that way. However, I have provided you with your options; I can't do anything more. I can certainly pass your complaint on to my supervisor, but other than that, there isn't anything else I can do. I'm sorry. I know you don't want to use minutes to call the voicemail, but I have provided you with another option. That's all I can do for you at this time. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Bxtch: "You're a liar. You're not sending anything to your supervisor. And your snide comments have been noted. I know how it works. (here she mimics in a snide voice my question about whether or not I could help her with anything else). You're just trying to get me off the phone. You keep saying you're sorry, but you're not. You don't care. You're just trying to cheat customers, and that's wrong."

Third Side Note: Well, DUH Lady.. do you like to sit on the phone for 10 minutes being insulted for no reason? And you're right, I no longer care. When you insult me, when I'm doing my job, then I cease to care about any inconvience to you.

Me: (again silent for a moment, letting her feel the tension she's creating, and trying to calm myself). "Ma'am.. I WILL be sending this to my superviser (and boy did I... almost every single word). Now, if you'll let me put you on hold for a moment. I will do that and get right back with you."

She didn't stay on hold for more than a minute before she hung up. (Thank God we don't have to get the customer okay before we put them on hold; we just have to inform them).

Is it any wonder I ate the whole candy bar by myself?